my way of thinking is off...

I am coming to believe in God and in the fact that my old way of thinking was / is way off. It is probably the reason for my self esteem issues.

I to say yes or okay so often without really even giving it a thought. I assumed everyone did but let me tell you a story. I will italicize the words coming out of the speaker.

I went to a speaker mtg and a women with 11 years was sharing. She had one of those ramblely shares since most people knew her story and since she had done it a ton over the last 11 years. So she starts just to say how great the program is and how god works in mysterious ways. The whole thing that people say about coincidences, synchronicity, trusting god b/c he has a plan. I was bored. She then says.
"So last Wednesday I got a call from my best friend. Her daughter's (the friends daughter) baby had died at 3 days old. "
the woman continues "so my friend asks me if I will officiate the funeral, and I said, No I am not religious, my friend said she knew that but both her and the daughter knew I was very spiritual. So I told her I didn't think I could but she asked me to reconsider so I said I had to sleep on it."

at this point I am blown away....sleep on it!!! a person just doesn't say yes immediately!!! it's a dead baby!!!

The speaker lady continues so nonchalantly "so the next day I call my sponsor and we agree I could do it (not should) and then you won't believe it, it turns out I knew the husband (dead baby's dad) I taught him in 2nd grade. So it just goes to show you god has a plan"

She goes on for a bit. I am horrified. She didn't immediately say yes to something huge. She still thinks it is no big deal to have made her poor girlfriend wait over night. And the weirder part is that the girlfriend doesn't seem to mind either. I would have told the speaker lady to Foff.

The take away for me is that maybe the rest of the world doesn't say yes all the time. Obviously these two women don't and that others don't expect it of me.

Maybe the fact that so many people/women expect me to say yes all the time is because I choose the wrong people to hang out with....maybe that is the problem...I am drawn to women who are users!!!

I keep meaning to get the number of the speaker lady and talk to her more. There is definitively something to learn here.

If I find out anything useful I will let you know!