Regrets

My sober friend says to me things like

• "drop the bone"
• "that cement is dried"

but I have a jackhammer and I like to pound in the dried cement. I am going back on forth on how long my sister and her kids should visit. I told her she should go home a day early as I have volunteer jobs and an appt w/ my trainer. I sometimes feel busier than when I worked. This weeks topic in the online group is isolation, which seems so appropriate...I do isolate by working or surfing the net too much...or just letting stupid thoughts ramble in my head over and over. Totological thinking I was told in rehab.

I am really working to cut out sugar from my diet...my diet has been horrible. McD a few times a week which I justify by saying I am eating happy meals...I go to the $ store and buy the small candy bars in a tray (butterfingers are my favs) then I eat them all...I buy bags of chips and eat the whole bag and some candy bars. I have lost some pounds. I have like 10lb more to go...It doesn't sound like a lot but I am super short so I look very pregnant.

enough ramblings for tonight xox WR