Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Watching the Cleaner

for the first time...
Things that are bugging me today. All this impending doom stuff. Plus X. was talking about greed and how we live in the greediest part of the country. Then I realized she was one of the greediest folks I know...
  • I should have asked her to explain in more detail as I just assumed
  • I should have asked if her not being happy was greedy, she has it all a great kid, her health, a great body, a great house, a great skill that allows her to write....and she is depressed and unsatisfied

I can't travel with her as her depression is not just chemical but situtational. If something goes wrong while we are gone I will feel like I have to take care of her and what if I can't.

Plus I am worried that I will get tired and then my anger at my father will come out sideways and I will tell her that I think she is ungrateful. I don't get her depression as her meds don't seem to work, one bad thing and her face falls and she is suicidal. But she is my friend and I don't want to hurt her.I just wish that she could control her thoughts so it wasn't so grim. I

I am so angry at the disease of depression and how it is so close to the victim role. I just want a my friend to be normal because I am scared for her. I have so many issues with co-dependency.

What a weird show "the closer" is. a show about drunks.

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