tradition 10

I like that the traditions are specific instructions to me on how to act in life outside of meetings. R ought never to be drawn into public controversy. This is so true for me. I live in a small town with a huge AA base so there is lots of opportunities to run into fellow AAers outside of the rooms. Fellowship is something kind of new to me so I followed the examples of the women. There is a lot of gossip and judgment. Now at 3 years sober I can see things more clearly and I don't want to use other people to feel better about myself. I don't want to participate in the bashing and character assassination of other women in the rooms.

When I read the traditions and this one - R ought never to be drawn into public controversy - I realize that I don't have to sit and listen to women being negative. I have a choice today. To me that is amazing that I have a choice about anything. So after some meetings I don't go out for "fellowship". I can pick and choose the women who I hang out with from the rooms. I can build relationships with women who are healthy outside of the rooms (normies are not to be feared like is believed by lots of women in my town).

I know my mom wanted to share with me all her insecurities and used me as her sounding block so helping other women with their fears is a familiar place for me. I was actually watching a SuperNanny Tv show where Jo told a mom not to confide negative thoughts to her 5 year old daughter and the light bulb went off for me.

The fact that I can choose is so powerful and new, that I don't have to join every fight I am invited to...that I do not and ought never be drawn into controversy is so peaceful for me.

I have even used the phrase "I don't know but I do know that is none of my business" to head off gossip talking!!! who knew I could be so healthy (at least that one time!)

I was also told "Mind your own business and if you need to find A Business to Mind" on that note I had a job interview at the local YWCA so cross your fingers!!!

xoxox
- Princess of Minding My Own Business