Source of anger

I am stuck trying to figure out why this situation bothers me so much. My neighbor started a "40 days of community" which is some ministry outreach thing that Christ Fellowship church is doing. She only has me and another neighbor who is not a Christ Fellowship but Lutheran & sober (this woman was big into AA but a bunch of experiences with older women who got into weird mother daughter things caused her to drop out and use her religion as her way to stay sober). So it is just the 3 of us.

Then two days before the event the Host woman asked over email if the second week we could do it at my home. Of course I said yes..and then regretted it. I don't want this in my home. I don't even want to do it. I was just being "nice" and trying to be open. But open where I can show up on time and bail when I want is one thing opening my home is another.

Then one day before she sends a mail saying a man she just met may also join. I did't repy but seethed inside.

Then a few hours before she asks if she can bring anything....I should have said everything!! But I didn't.

So I made coffee, had snacks etc. I was upset at myself for saying yes to doing this gr0up in the first place, then mad for "needing to be liked" so saying we could do it at my house. At the beginning of the night. I asked if she was doing it at her house the next week (it goes on for 4 more weeks) and she said "I was hoping we could do it at your house..I like getting out of my house". Bullshit. I said "no way" I got a bit pissy but she got the point. So the other girl said we could do it at her house. I am now feeling guilty as my house is the nicest. But as I was told at a mtg. Saying no to others is saying yes to me...

Update...I didn't realize it at the time as I was too busy serving coffee and kind of thinking how much easier entertaining was drunk. Of course I was passive aggressive and she will assume it is b/c I am a drunk. But it gets worse. The host changes the book to some major Jesus thing and expects us to read the bible each night. I do have a spiritual program but I am not ready to become Born Again. I am a Roman Catholic even if I am on a sabbatical right now.

This whole thing sucks...she had an agenda and kept pushing me until.....ughhh