Who am I

I named this blog "who am i" as I wonder. My therapist suggested I do body work to "quiet" my mind. I do yoga & pilates but I think through the class. Have those 2 way conversations w/ people where they see my point of view finally! She asked me what would happen if I my mind did get quiet and I said I thought I would die. She said I would finally feel.

I am focusing too much on what others are saying about me. I was told that at the funeral my college friends were discussing my alcoholism. "what's new with her"..."she's an alcoholic". My alcoholism doesn't define me. My acts do. I didn't live in my parents basement and steal money from them to support me which is where my mind goes to when someone says addiction. I did a number of radical fun things to run from my addiction. I see the desperation in my actions but at least a long the way I had a gooood time. I know it is b/c my parents don't like or love me that I need for everyone else to love me. I know all this on a intellectual level but my little girl just needs a hug.

xox