Day 5 - I hope I do better but I can't believe that the Oranges really are killing my success.
We have a huge box and I hate for them to go bad, especially bc for so many years I ate no fruit at all so this new fruit love but being banned is hard.
B-2 eggs, 1/2 zucchini, onion, cheese
L - 1/4 cantaloupe, scallops, iceberg lettuce, olive oil
snack - tiny box of nerds
D - starving right now
steak, green beans, salad
cantelope and walnuts and 5 cheetios
am weight
after mouse weight 131 even
pm weight 131.6
so i could be 129 in the am
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I struggle not to beat myself up over the little things and over the big things. Some of it is true and some not so truthful. What I mean by that is sometimes I am not as nice as I would like. I heard in a meeting that a sponsor told a newcomer "don't drink, go to meetings and have good manners". My manners are not good at times. I get irritated at sales clerks, I get mean to my husband, and worse of all I got into a fight with a woman at the rehab I go to a meeting at this week. I just have trouble with interpersonal relationships. People annoy me and I show it on my face. I feel like I talk about this each week. My disease tells me to isolate. Plus my disease gets me to focus on just the negative interactions and not the other positive ones. I can say one bad thing and that is all I focus on not the other 99 postivie interactions. I am human and new to living a sober life, I need to be gentle with myself. xox
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
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