sunday

A VERY important sentence in the Big Book at least 2 times ~ "We have to cease fighting anything or anyone".

I realize need to read the Big Book more often and even better add a Big Book meeting to my weekly set of meetings.

"Cease to fight" yes I need to do that. I too find myself getting anxious, agitated and the whole.."they should" attitude.

I know I need to look at my side of the street and see where I let situations that bring up these feelings into my life. I have decided not to shop at the big mall at all this season as it is too overwhelming. The sensory overload of sounds and sights is something I don't need and I find I am calmer at the smaller stores.

I also need to say no more often. This keeps cropping up. My neighborhood is doing an open house tour to raise money. I have stood my ground about not opening my house (you have to serve drinks) but I have said yes to doing way too many other things to the point I am overbooked. I keep getting the "shoulds" why aren't more neighbors helping, why are we doing so much. The truth is I could have said no (organizing/doing the walk-through trash pickup while at the same time receiving the donated baked goods). I have to give myself credit as I have said no to some of the requests, it is true most of the neighborhood is lazy and so while I am double booked, they tried to triple book me!

I also know I need to expand my meetings and the women I do fellowship with. I need to remember that it is fellowship more often than friendship as while we share the experience of drinking in many ways we are different. My sponsor says I need a new sandbox although I challenge her to find a mtg locally that isn't full of folks not drinking but not living the principles in their daily life. In my town we seem to be going through an epidemic of affairs, and dramas and then of course a lot of relapsing.

So to stay focused on the solution I need to:
* Go to Big Book Meetings
* Read the Big Book
* Focus my attention on my family and not the local drama
* Remember true friendship takes time to build...and not to fall for the instant intimacy of AA
* Learn to say no
* Make sure I remember HALT (eat well, sleep, exercise)